My neck…, my back…, are both fine but my crack?

11/30/22

Speaking of cracks, I have a splitting butt ache. But the procedure went as planned. After days of laxatives for preparation I can finally say for once I wasn’t full of shit. The movie was produced by Doctor Big Hands himself. Pieces were removed but at least I’ll be lighter on the scale. The tale of my tail is still pending though. I should have all the results back in a couple weeks.

I went in with my normal jovial self. Making jokes with the nurses and making everyone laugh. The nurse in charge of setting up my IV literally spent about 2 minutes digging around under my skin searching for the vein. I guess one of my jokes must have gotten under her skin. This left my hand swollen and sore and when I got home my kids asked me why she did that and I said I’m guessing since she was Asian she had trouble seeing what she was doing.

The anesthesiologist got the last laugh though when she injected what she referred to as the “Good stuff” into my IV. My last conscious thought while being rolled down the hallway was “What do you mean don’t act a fool?”

When I woke after everything was done my escape reflex kicked in. Its the same reflex men have after they busy a nut and suddenly “Have to go. "I asked the attending nurse to remove the IV from my hand which she refused so when she left I grabbed some gauze, peeled off the tape and removed it myself. Covering the pin prick where the IV was immediately after removing the needle I used the same tape to adhere the gauze and created a makeshift bandage. When the nurse returned I told her the doctor stopped by, removed the IV and said I was clear to leave. She let me check out and I was gone! .

Once home I settled in and got comfortable. The laxative began to fade and I began to feel some what normal. I ended the night with a celebratory drink or 6 and went to bed. Today I feel good and almost back to normal. As I said previously it will be a couple weeks before I have the test results and I’ll update again. As always thank you everyone for your prayers and best wishes. I greatly appreciate you all!