A Waking Nightmare…

10/4/22

Every night I dread going to sleep. The anxiety of what is to come keeps me awake much longer then I should be. I’ve developed almost permanent bags under my eyes and and I appear 10-20 years older then I did before. And this is when I’m not being assailed by the headaches. Freddy Kruger is a second fiddle.

R.E.M. appears to be a trigger for cluster headaches. This totally makes sense since I’m woken up every night by this affliction. My lack of rest sends me into a deep sleep quickly. And although I could once recall my dreams the only thing I’m met with upon waking is a pain like nothing I’ve ever felt before.

While awake there are tell tale signs of an approaching headache. The swelling on the right side roof of my mouth. The burning sensation behind my right eye. The congestion which is also restricted to the right side of my sinuses. Normally I enjoy being right but this can be left behind.

I’ve had headaches. I’ve had hangovers. I’ve had migraines. All of these pale in comparison to Cluster Headaches. And not to beat a dead horse but these pending mental earthquakes are threatening to tear apart my sanity. I’ve never been afraid of anything but i truly dread the cerebral assassination that I suffer through each and every night.

Without experiencing these first hand I would have thought anyone else with this problem was exaggerating. After all, how bad can a headache really be? Well let me tell you this. If I could safely lobotomize the imposing ailment I would. And if I were a weaker person I could see myself succumbing to this disorder’s other name.