Cancer update #2

Today I had my first appointment at the Schar Cancer Center. Biopsy results show I have a unique cancerous tumor. Unique as in one of a kind. He literally called it a unicorn. So this means there’s no set treatment plan for my affliction.

Next he decides to be certain he will do an exam (yikes!) and more biopsies. So I’m to assume the position.

Now this is my second exam. The first one was quick. He misdiagnosed the ailment and felt proud of himself. I’m sure there’s plenty of ladies out there that can relate to that.

This exam was much more thorough . Uncomfort levels are over 9000. ( )Then the camera comes out. Didn’t realize we were making a porno doc. He gets some more biopsies and I think it’s over. Boy, was I wrong.

Here’s comes probe #2 and he’s like ooooo I think I found something else. Now he’s cutting into me again and I let out a painful yelp as he’s taking biopsies from the new probable cancer area. He then hits me with some numbing shots and finishes the biopsies and tells me to get dressed.

Now y’all know me. While all of this is going on I’m saying shit like “How does my brother enjoy this?” “You gonna at least give me a reach around?” And on round two after the numbing shots I’m like “I find it much easier to talk in this chair then the dentist.”

With everything done my period has started and I’m open to solid tampon suggestions because my dumb ass wore white today .

All in all I have no real update as we need to wait for these biopsies to come back. I did however get a better understanding of what’s going on down there. The doctor was a little excited about the rareness of my cancer and stated he could publish his findings etc. I added just think how much more famous you’ll be if you cure it.

Thank you all for your continued support and I’ll try to post updates as they come in. All in all today went well and not a single hair is out of place.