Cancer update #4

I’ve never been afraid of anything in my life. I’ve been shot at, stabbed, chased by police, prison, and so on. Then I caught cancer. The colon cancer doesn’t scare me. The exams do. I didn’t realize it until last Friday.

I’m at the radiation treatment center and we’re discussing future treatment plans. Everything is going smoothly and then he says he’ll need to conduct an exam.

When I tell you all the color drained out of my face, I may have become transparent. I stuttered and asked meekly “What type of exam…” The doctor looked at me as I became an albino in front of his eyes and chuckled. “Not that type of exam Mr King. I just need to see the outside areas.”

I have never been so relieved in my life. As the melanin retuned to my complexion (Didn’t take long since I’m white) I relaxed, but here’s why I’m emotionally scarred now.

My first ER visit the doctor tricked me. He said “This may be a little bit uncomfortable.” In my mind this was his way of telling me he’d be gentle. Maybe the equivalent of me telling someone “Let me just put the head in.” Then he proceeds to jam his finger in there at the speed of light, digs around, and completes the act with a misdiagnosis. I probably should have cried being deflowered in such a way but mama ain’t raise no punks!

Next was the colonoscopy. This was easy. They put me under. One second I’m chilling cracking jokes with the medical team, next thing you know… Pill Cosby. I wake up and other then the bleeding from the biopsies I’m ok. I like to refer to this as my first period .

Experience number 3 was definitely the worst. If prison rape was a doctors visit this was the one. I’m wide awake. No anesthesia. There’s the finger. There’s some weird tube thing. There goes the camera. more

Biopsies. Refingered. *DISCOVERY* He thinks he found more . Camera again. Knife. Now remember I said no anesthesia. That MFing hurt! 3 shots of lidocaine. More biopsies. He’s done and I’m on my second period .

Now bring on today. Today was supposed to be simple. An MRI scan in a claustrophobic tube. No problem. At least that’s what I thought. Now the location of my tumor is about 4 inches in. And it’s big. It’s blocking the flow of things which is what’s causing my discomfort, pain, and 24/7 urge to defecate. Here’s where everything went south.

In order to maximize Colon MRI’s they have a contrast dye they fill the colon with to bring out the best images. It’s clear and about the consistency of your average sex lube. Each dose is about the circumference of your finger and thumb when you make the OK sign with your hand and about the length of your middle finger. Yeah, it’s a lot.

They have 3 doses that will attach to a device that resembles a small dildo. I bullshit you not. It’s narrow but still intimidating. I ask the nurse what they plan on doing with Li Chung Feng over there and they’re confused. I pointed at the device and said the Asian penis. After trying to remain professional they explained that it’s how they apply the three doses of hospital strength KY jelly. I tell them that will never work because the tumor is so close and things can’t pass it. I’m ignored and Anally force fed this lab created algae.

There isn’t room in there for this. I’m doing everything I can to keep this gunk from leaking out. I’m lowered into the MRI. Discomfort. Eventually pain. Claustrophobia starts to set in. I’m not claustrophobic but the overwhelming urge to shit out this foreign substance had me panicked and I’m looking to escape and save face by not Exorcist vomiting this gel from my ass. I can’t sit still. It’s too much. None of the MRI images are clear. I finally succumb to the pressure and hit the help button. I’m released from the time machine and slowly hobble to a bathroom. The rest of the details shouldn’t be shared on a public forum but this is me so you already know .

As soon as the door closes I release the butt cheeks I’ve had clamped together since leaving the MRI room. I fling open the back of my robe releasing the self imposed clamp and yup…. You guessed it. Gel everywhere. It’s on the floor. It’s on the toilet seat. It’s all over my legs. I’m mortified but thankful nobody sees this demon leaving my soul.

This shit should be embarrassing and I mean that literally as well. But I’m sharing my horrific experiences with this platform to hopefully raise awareness. I’m terrified of future exams. I’d rather be probed my aliens. But it’s a necessary thing and with the new age being 45 instead of 50 I highly recommend you get your ass in there. It’s also recommended that if there’s a history of cancer in your family you go 10 years sooner.

My previous posts show strength and positivity. I still have all of those. But this shit is still scary. I have moments of weakness. I have moments where I wonder how I’ll get through it. I have moments where I falter. But I always pick myself back up and remind myself why I’m here and who is counting on me. I’ve survived too much to let a Zodiac sign do me in. I will prevail.

Thank you to all of those who have supported me through this with your messages, texts and calls. I appreciate you all and know that even your smallest gestures fuels the fire within me to win. I WILL PREVAIL!