Cancer update #7

Today I became a cyborg.

So I got a priority appointment to have my Medport installed. This is a device that includes a port for future chemo injections and a small tube that runs under my skin to the main vein that feeds into my heart. I don’t think I’ll be using the phrase “Drain the main vein” any time soon.

All in all it was a pretty uneventful day. Rode up to Fair Oaks, checked in, most of my registration paperwork was completed before arrival, stripped down and wore a gown, and refused to post any ‘Look at me in the hospital bed pictures.’ Went to sleep, woke up, got dressed and came home where I’ve finally been able to get some sleep. Only bad side is I’ll be up all night now.

When they took me to the room to prep me for Surgury the anesthesiologist gave me his spiel and the nurse looked at me and said I looked familiar. I said that’s because I’m the man of her dreams. The room was super cold. I apologized for my nipples being hard but said at least it will be easier to see while she was shaving my chest. (When I look in the mirror now the left side is still a man but the right side is afraid of catholic priests.) While she was shaving the right side I asked her if the hospital offered manscaping as well.

The doctor came in and before I could say nice to see you again the anesthesiologist is on top of things and I’m out. I’m wake up in the recovery area and plan my escape route. I tell the station nurses I’m ready to go after getting dressed and they send for a wheel chair. When I say I don’t need it they say it’s policy and I ask what if I make a break for it? The whole station was pretty cool so when they say they’ll get in trouble for letting me leave I shelf my Usain Bolt persona and wait for my interior Uber.

Now I’m at home and this thing hurts more then I thought it would. Nothing unbearable. More of an inconvenience when moving certain ways. I’ve been dressing for comfort with sweat pants and soft shirts. Now I’ll be using zipper pull overs while the damaged areas heal.

At first they were unsure when my chemotherapy would start but now with the priority treatment I’ve been receiving it will also be on Monday along with my radiation treatments. I wasn’t even supposed to have my colonoscopy until March 9th so I really appreciate the speed and efficiency of my cancer team. And as always I appreciate all of you for giving me a place to share my experiences.