I Must Be Retarded (Update 9.3)

ED… erectile distinction. Every man ever has a hidden fear of this happening to them. Sometimes it can be brought on by over intoxication. Other times it can be brought on by underlying medical conditions. And last but not least she can just be hella unattractive .

This brings me to my Special ED *See post title* and what’s causing it. Men have a penile bulb which is essentially where the penis begins internally. My second tumor has targeted my joystick and it’s not playing any games. Not only is it causing the obvious issue but it’s also interfering with my ability to urinate properly.

Men have a muscle they can clinch after they’ve finished peeing that helps push urine out thus preventing those nasty yellow stains you find in your sugar daddy’s tighty whities. Think male Kegels. I no longer have control over those muscles and have to manually manipulate any remaining fluid out.

Now I know what you’re thinking. “I can bring ‘your friend’ back to life.” I wish it were that simple. A long time friend of mine (pornhub) has forsaken me. We were so close once . And as previously stated manual manipulation only has one purpose now. What’s a man to do?

I can only think of one thing that may reverse this condition…