It’s OK to be afraid:

11/21/22

My symptoms started in June of 2021. By the end of August I retired from the work force to figure out what was wrong. After several misdiagnosis’s the real issue came to bear its teeth in February of 2022. That shit was scary.

I went through intense treatment and my physical health deteriorated. I stayed positive and had many supporters lending me their strength. There’s been improvement and then the Cluster headaches came. That shit was scary.

I’ve got internal scarring from the radiation treatment. Bowel issues continue. The 29th is right around the corner and I’ll get an official update on my condition. And you know what? That shit is scary.

You’ve applauded me all along for my strength and positive outlook. I’ve pushed through every phase with good humor and one time not so good. #AprilFools. I’ve shared my story and inspired others with it. But there has always been a nagging thought in the back of my mind. This shit is scary.

It’s ok to be afraid. You can literally charge into anything and still be afraid. Fear doesn’t have to cause desperation. It can inspire strength like when a woman lifted a car off of her child while it was on fire. Or when a man who couldn’t swim jumped off the boat to save the boy who fell in. It’s ok to be afraid and that’s why I don’t mind saying this shit is scary.

The key is to not let that fear overcome you. As long as you take control of the situation fear can be a powerful motivator. (See the movie John Q to see how fear can motivate someone.) So I’m going to keep pushing forward fear be damned. I’m going to beat this shit even while being scared the entire time. This shit is scary but I’m not afraid to win.