Sleep is the cousin of death.

Although I’m getting over the treatments I went through sleep still evades me. It’s like when you’ve lost something, and you look for it, but you never find it. Oh, it’s near you. Just like those keys you are always misplacing. But you never find it. You give up. Then you sit down and it’s right next to you.

Back to the title. Sleep is the cousin of death. Maybe subconsciously my is confused with what’s going on with my body and keeping me awake. Maybe my immune system which is desperately trying to thrive in a poisonous environment is forcing me to bear the load along with it. Or maybe it’s something as simple as stress from having Stage 4 cancer. Whatever is causing the insomnia needs to go.

I’ve spoken about sleep deprivation before so I won’t continue to cover that here. What I will do is tell you my eating is getting better. I believe the weight loss is over. Perhaps I’ll create a Cancer based weight loss system that guarantees results. It would have to wait until I get my strength back. I’ve grown quite weak since the second round of Chemotherapy.

I still need to self medicate. Shout out to Ahmed who dropped off the edibles! I was so against it at first but they really help. That along with my prescriptions should get me to my next exam. If all goes well a simple surgery will put this chapter to a close. And if it’s not effortless we can deal with that when the time comes.

Thank you all for your continued support, prayers, rituals, comments, messages, calls, and so on. I can not express how much that means to me. So thank you all again for following my journey. It would be much more difficult…

Alone. It’s because of you that I smile.