Weekend 2: The struggle

I’m miserable. The radiation has increased the frequency of my bathroom visits. My Anus, not to be confused with Uranus, is swollen and sore. I’ve completely lost control of the functionality of the lower part of my colon. There is no comfortable position for me to sit, lay, stand, etc. I thought the pressure was bad before. It’s become unbearable.

My body temperature continues to slowly drop. I was in the 97’s the first week and now I’m in the 96’s. I bottomed out last night at 96.1. Hypothermia has become an added risk. No Elsa… You can not turn me into a snowman.

It’s becoming more difficult to focus long enough to write these updates. I’ve developed hemorrhoids, fissures, and who knows what else. I very well may have colitis as well. I feel my resolve breaking. The inflammation feels like a balled up fist behind the anus. It’s like Ken Griffey Jr hit a home run that went straight up my ass and now the baseball is trying to get out to no avail.

I know I need to stay focused on the end game. I know I’ve got to remain positive. I know I’ve got peoples support and others depending on me. But sometimes everything is so overwhelming I just want to end the suffering and step on to the operation table and have them cut everything out. Another 4 weeks of this hell to go. Keep my in your thoughts.